well as usual nothing in my life is going as i'd like it too. But hey what more should i expect this is my severly f***ed up life!!! I didn't get to spend any time with my family on easter for the second yea in a row and thats bugging the hell out of me. then theres the fact that my mom just had surgery and i couldn't be there for her like i wanted to be because i can't afford it.i'm supposed to be having all these tests done on me but at this point i couldn't care less what happens to me because i'm always in pain anyway so whats the difference. everyone keeps telling me that i just need to go and get it overwith but they don't understand that i do not care what happens to me anymore.. whats the worse that could happen i'd die  oh well no one cares anyway!!!!!i'm like 2 carpayments behind and if i miss one more they probably going to repo it then what will i do.... oh yeah then theres my tickets that i got.. hmmmm i'm losing my drivers liscence for one stupid thing i've done. i should have told the trooper that i was going 99 mph just to see what fate had in store for me.yeah i bet i would have still gotten three tickets. well i dont know what to do anymore i'd like to just take my car and wrap it around a tree or a pole that way it gets paid for and i have no worries.... now only if i had the balls to do it..... i need help ..... i should take my medicine.... oh thats right i don't have the money to get the presriptions filled... oh well.....guess everyone will know how i make out based on if i write again